Life really is like that UNO game in the meme. Sometimes when it appears like you are “winning” you’re dealt difficult cards.  Sometimes you get hit with a Draw 4, but you keep playing your hand one card at a time. You don’t quit the game because of one tough round – you keep playing because that’s what the game requires.

As entrepreneurs and business owners, we face this reality constantly. Recently, I’ve been thinking a lot about resilience – not just what it is, but what it costs to choose it in your life and in the business world. Because here’s what nobody tells you: when you decide to build your resilience muscle, you’re going to face judgment from others who don’t understand your choices.

When Life Deals You the Hard Cards

Thursday morning, I woke up to find my dog had passed away suddenly. No warning, no illness – she had played and eaten and been her normal self just the day before. The shock and grief hit like a freight train.

I had a client call scheduled for that same afternoon. My first instinct was to cancel – surely this was reason enough to step away, to take time to grieve properly. But the call was time-sensitive, and after some thought, I made a deliberate choice to keep it. I spoke with my client ahead of time and let him know where I was in that moment. I showed up for that meeting while still processing the loss of my companion.

This wasn’t about “just pushing through” – it was a thoughtful, intentional decision. Sometimes the resilient choice IS to step back when you truly cannot show up. But in this case, I decided I could honor both my grief and my commitment. Resilience isn’t about bulldozing through everything – it’s about being intentional with your choices, even in difficult moments.

The truth is, circumstances don’t always give us the luxury of preparation. Whether it’s an unexpected loss, a business decision that goes sideways and costs you money, a client emergency, market volatility, or any of life’s curveballs, we rarely have time to don our armor before the arrows start flying. That’s exactly when our resilience muscle gets tested – and as business owners, that muscle gets a daily workout.

The Cruel Irony of Resilience

It’s such a cruel irony. When you’re already at your lowest point, the last thing you need is people questioning your choices or making you feel like you’re doing grief “wrong.” But that’s exactly when it happens, because your resilience makes others uncomfortable with their own responses to difficulty.

The misunderstanding runs deep too. People think resilience means you don’t feel pain or that you’re somehow unaffected by what’s happening. They don’t see that it actually takes more emotional intelligence and strength to hold space for both the hurt and the commitment. It’s not about being tough – it’s about being whole.

And the social pressure is real. When you’re already vulnerable, that voice in your head saying “Maybe I should just cancel everything like everyone expects” gets louder. It would be so much easier to just follow the script, get the sympathy, and let everything slide. But then you’d lose that sense of who you are when you need it most.

The truth is, developing that resilience muscle is almost a lonely path by design. Most people will choose the easier route of using circumstances as an excuse, so when you don’t, you’re automatically in a smaller group. But that group – the people who understand that you can grieve deeply and still keep your word – those are your people.

But here’s what I’ve learned about choosing resilience in business and life: people will question you for it. They’ll say things like “Don’t you care?” or “Wow, you should be taking time for self-care.” In the business world, this might sound like “You’re too focused on work” or “You need to learn to set boundaries.” There’s this unwritten rule that grief or hardship should look a certain way – that you should be visibly broken, cancel everything, and stay home in your pajamas.

When you don’t follow that script, people get uncomfortable. They might question your love or commitment with that tone that really means “You’re not grieving correctly.” I experienced this firsthand a few years ago when my husband’s father passed away. We had committed to delivering an order on schedule, and we kept that commitment. Our clients were shocked – genuinely shocked – that we didn’t miss their timeline. The surprise in their voices made it clear they expected us to use the death as a reason to delay.

Here’s the thing – we didn’t keep that commitment to prove we were better than anyone else or to show how strong we were. We kept it because in that moment of loss, honoring our word felt like honoring who we are. When you’re at your lowest point and you decide to do that one thing you said you’d do, there’s something powerful that happens. You’re trusting yourself to handle it. You’re trusting that you can honor both your grief and your commitment. You’re trusting that God, the Universe, Mother Nature, or whatever you believe in can hold you through it.

That choice – to keep your word when everything in you wants to curl up and stop – that’s for your own edification. It’s about preserving your sense of self when everything else feels shaky. It’s about recognizing that this is your one great and wonderful life, and you get to choose how you move through it, even in the hardest moments.

When you’re already vulnerable and hurting, that kind of judgment from others can feel especially heavy. It’s not that their opinions don’t matter – it’s that when you’re in grief, you’re already carrying so much emotional weight that adding their confusion or disapproval can feel overwhelming.

Building Different

Building that resilience muscle does make you different as a business owner. It makes you someone who can be trusted to keep showing up for your clients and your team. It makes you someone who understands that feelings are temporary but reputation and character are permanent. And yes, it might make you lonely sometimes, because not everyone will understand that choice – especially in a world that often celebrates excuses over execution.

But that’s the price of living authentically – and it’s worth it.

When life deals you those difficult cards – whether from unexpected circumstances or consequences of your own business decisions – remember that you don’t have to quit the game. You can acknowledge the pain, feel the feelings, and still play your next card. You can hold the duality of grief while not canceling your business commitments unless you absolutely have to.

As entrepreneurs, we’re not just playing for ourselves – we’re playing for our clients, our teams, and our missions. That doesn’t mean we’re robots or that we don’t feel deeply. It means we’ve learned to separate our emotional experience from our professional obligations. And yes, sometimes that choice will be misunderstood by people who expect grief to look a certain way.

Keep playing your hand, one card at a time. Because that’s what resilience looks like – not the absence of difficulty, but the presence of choice in how you respond to it, even when that choice feels lonely or misunderstood.

Other people’s discomfort with your resilience is about them, not you – but that knowledge doesn’t make it easier when you’re already emotionally raw. When someone questions your choices during your most vulnerable moments, it can add another layer of pain to what you’re already carrying. Give yourself permission to feel that sting while still knowing you’re making the right choice for you.

Permission to Grieve Your Way

So let me give you permission for something: You get to grieve your way. You get to honor your word your way. You get to live your life your way.

Resilience isn’t about caring less – it’s about caring so much that you honor both your loss AND your life. I loved my dog deeply, which is exactly why I can hold space for that grief while still choosing to keep my commitments. Those aren’t contradictory actions – they’re both expressions of who I am.

The reality is that how I feel is only ONE variable in what I do each day. We have only ONE great and wonderful life. Resilience is a muscle we can build to allow us to navigate the rocks so we can see the sunset from the beach.

Dawn K Kennedy is a business attorney and entrepreneur who believes in showing up authentically for both the celebrating and the grieving. Through Dawn Kennedy Law and Convoy Road Coffee Roasters, she helps business owners navigate both legal challenges and life’s unexpected moments with resilience and grace.

Photo Credit- Unknown. Facebook meme came across my timeline.  If you are the owner of the photo, or know who owns this photo, please contact Dawn K Kennedy for photo credit.