A letter to every founder who’s ready to stop playing defense

The Day Everything Changed

On November 1, 2013, I lost a business. Not “struggled with” or “had to pivot” – lost. Gone. Done.

We had unforeseeable and tragic accident, a near-fatal 18-foot fall that severely injured my husband and business partner- and took almost 4 years of our lives to recover. 

I remember sitting in my car afterward, staring at nothing, thinking about all the things I should have known, should have done, should have protected. The “what ifs” and “if onlys” were deafening.

But somewhere in that wreckage, I realized something that changed everything: I had been playing defense my entire business life. Trying not to mess up. Trying not to get sued. Trying not to fail.

And you know what? Playing defense doesn’t win games. It just delays the inevitable.

The Rebuild Changed My Perspective

When I rebuilt – this time stronger, smarter, more intentional – I made a fundamental shift. I stopped asking “How do I avoid problems?” and started asking “How do I build something so strong that problems become opportunities?”

I stopped trying to protect what I had and started building something unshakeable.

That shift changed everything.

The Difference Between Defense and Offense

Defensive thinking sounds like:

• “What if someone sues me?”
• “What if this goes wrong?”
• “How do I avoid making mistakes?”
• “What’s the minimum I need to do to be compliant?”

Offensive thinking sounds like:

• “How do I structure this so I can scale with confidence?”
• “What systems do I need to handle whatever comes my way?”
• “How do I turn potential challenges into competitive advantages?”
• “What foundation do I need to support the business I’m building, not just the one I have today?”

One approach keeps you small and scared. The other builds empires.

What Unshakeable Actually Means

Building something unshakeable doesn’t mean nothing bad will ever happen to your business. Challenges will come. Difficult customers, employee issues, market shifts, competition, maybe even legal disputes.

Unshakeable means when those challenges come, you’re ready. Not just legally protected, but strategically positioned. Not just compliant, but confident.

It means you’ve built systems, relationships, and foundations that can handle turbulence and keep growing.

The Growth-Protection Cycle

Here’s what I learned: Protection and growth aren’t opposites – they’re partners.

Grow. Protect. Prepare. Grow more. Repeat.

Every time you grow, you reassess what needs protecting. Every time you protect, you create space to grow bigger. Every time you prepare, you build confidence to take the next bold step.

This isn’t about avoiding risk – it’s about taking smarter risks with better foundations.

Stop Playing Small

I see too many founders, especially women, playing small because they’re afraid of making mistakes. Afraid of getting in trouble. Afraid of looking stupid.

Here’s what I want you to know: The skinned knees are part of the journey. The mistakes are tuition for the education you’re getting. The uncomfortable conversations and difficult decisions are building your leadership muscles.

You’re not supposed to know everything from day one. You’re supposed to build, learn, adapt, and keep building.

The Questions That Changed My Business

Instead of asking defensive questions, I started asking offensive ones:

• “What would I need to have in place to handle 10x the revenue?”
• “How would I structure this if I knew it was going to be wildly successful?”
• “What systems and protections would give me complete confidence to take bigger swings?”
• “If I could only worry about growing and serving customers, what would I need someone else to handle?”

These questions don’t just prepare you for problems – they prepare you for success.

Your Story Isn’t Written Yet

Maybe you’ve had setbacks. Maybe you’ve made mistakes. Maybe you’re currently dealing with something that feels overwhelming.

Here’s what I know for sure: Your story isn’t written yet.

The business you lost can become the foundation for something better. The mistake you made can become the wisdom that saves someone else. The challenge you’re facing can become the strength that carries you through to the next level.

But only if you make the shift from defensive to offensive thinking.

Building Forward, Not Just Up

When you build something unshakeable, you’re not just building a business – you’re building a platform for impact. A foundation for the next version of yourself. A legacy that extends beyond profit margins and revenue goals.

You’re building something that can weather storms, adapt to change, and keep creating value no matter what comes.

You’re building something that gives you the confidence to take the risks that matter, make the moves that count, and create the impact you’re actually here to make.

The Choice Is Yours

Every day, you get to choose: Will you play defense or offense?

Will you build to avoid problems, or build to handle anything?

Will you create something that survives, or something that thrives?

The defensive path feels safer, but it’s actually riskier – because playing small in a big world is the biggest risk of all.

The offensive path feels scarier, but it’s actually safer – because when you build something truly strong, you can handle whatever comes your way.

What I Want for You

I want you to stop looking over your shoulder and start looking ahead.

I want you to stop asking “What if it goes wrong?” and start asking “What if it goes right?”

I want you to build with the confidence that comes from knowing you’re prepared for whatever comes next.

I want you to create something so strong, so well-built, so intentionally designed that challenges become opportunities and obstacles become stepping stones.

Most of all, I want you to know that the rebuild – whether it’s your first build or your comeback story – can be better than anything you’ve imagined.

But you have to be willing to play offense.

The difference between surviving and thriving isn’t avoiding the game – it’s playing to win.

 

If this message resonated with you, take the free Strategic Intelligence Assessment — discover whether you’re building defensively or offensively.